Blocking Friendship Breakers
As in any relationship, you and your friends will eventually face several setbacks in your friendship. But, don’t fret yet! Here are some ways of holding onto the friendship bond.
Friendship breaker: Backstabbing
Have you ever thought that your friendship was perfectly fine, but then you heard that a friend had been telling others negative things about you?
When you realize that a friend has been talking behind your back, the first thing to do is to ask if you have offended him/her in any way in the past. A word of caution is that you have to broach the subject without assuming the worst. Be tactful in your approach. During the discussion, let your friend know that you felt betrayed as a friend and that your trusted him or her has been damaged. If your friend asks for your forgiveness it should be made clear that trust must be regained, and that you are willing to start over.
Friendship breaker: Liking the same guy (Ouch!)
Two close friends choosing friendship over love for one person who they both have a common interest in only happens in movies. In real life, competing for the same person’s affections could easily break strong friendships.
In such situation, talking face to face is a must to divert your attention from brewing ill feelings towards each other. The two of you may decide to give up going after the same person once you both see that your friendship means more than just the affections of one person. There are plenty of people out there! But, of course the case would be different if your friend is already in a relationship with the person you like. It is best to steer clear from the situation because attempts to “steal” a friend’s partner will definitely destroy your friendship.
Friendship breaker: Making new friends
Life unfolds in moments, and when it does, it enables us to find new beginnings and companions as well. When this happens, you or a friend could ask the wonder if you’re being forgotten.
While the feeling of being left behind creates negative feelings, one must accept that it is normal for people to find new sets of friends especially when they enter new phases in their lives. To deal with the situation, your friend must know that you miss being with him or her. Staying in contact quells speculation that you’ve forgotten your treasured friendships.
Friendship breaker: Partaking in unhealthy competition
This type of friendship is best suited for a survival themed reality TV show where you outwit, outplay, and outlast each other. The relationship you have is a friendship, not a contest!
Don’t let your quest to surpass each other’s achievements hampered an otherwise healthy friendship. To deal with this, insecurities should be addressed first, and then accept that your talents and areas of excellence vary. Self-realization is a must.
Friendship breaker: Having different interests
Having different preferences could sometimes make a friendship difficult to handle. Even small decisions could bring about undesirable reactions from both parties. This could then be misunderstood as something that could cause the end of a friendship.
With diverse personalities, it is unavoidable for friends to disagree on their choices at times. When this situation occurs, settle the matter by making a compromise where everyone in the group or both parties can concur. However, disagreements can range from simple ones to those that are not negotiable as individual values.
Fighting friendship breakers could be tricky and at times difficult, so it is best to keep the friendship bond strong when times are good. Know how to block these breakers, and survive the tests before announcing, “friendship over!”
How Couple Counselling Can Improve Retirement?
Retirement should be a time in life when couples at long last have time for each other, and the opportunity to do things together they may have previously postponed. For some this might include hobbies or travel, getting involved in community organisations or spending more time with family and friends. While all these are reasonable and healthy goals, for some couples, retirement proves to be the opposite. It can be a time of increased stress and anxiety on their marriage and relationship. A couple counselling London therapist may be able to provide suggestions that will improve your unique situation, and identity negative patterns that can be redirected towards more positive and relationship improving words and actions. They can help you build a vision for your retirement, manage change and set realistic goals and objectives.
Acceptance of Change
Although retirement for many is a joyous time, one that they have long anticipated, it brings along with it many changes. Preparing for, and accepting the changes emotionally, financially and physically that come with retirement is not easy for some – and will often be the cause for increased tension within the relationship. It may be possible as a couple to accept the transition to retirement easier through the guided council of a qualified, professional couple’s counsellor.
Couples Retreats for Retirees
One method that has been effective for some couples to rekindle their affection and start this new chapter of their life together has been through attendance of an intensive couple’s therapy program at a couples retreat. Quite often at an intensive program such as this, they will focus on seeing the strengths in your partner, and creating a better communication pattern. Conflict resolution is also often discussed, as are techniques for change acceptance.
Mapping out Your Expectations
As previously mentioned, couples may have a vision for how they hope to live when they retire. It is important to discuss what your expectations are, and whether they can realistically be carried out based on you budget. If one partner is hoping for extensive travelling, this may conflict with the desire of the other if it is their intent to stay close to home and have more time with grandchildren or nearby family and friends. Discussing where to live, health care options, financial plans and other goals are all necessary, and a councillor will often help you work through these types of concerns by offering unbiased, non judgemental input. They can provide communication improvement techniques so that each partner feels they have been heard, and that their opinion is respected.
Retirement can most definitely be time where couples can look forward to being able to spend more time together, and learn to reconnect on an emotional and physical level. Ensuring a positive foundation is laid through effective communication and honest participation in the counselling sessions can be a step forward towards the happy retirement together both partners deserve.
Keep Your Female Friends and Your Girlfriend
Having a female friend can bring many good things in to your life. You can go to her for inside advice when the inner workings of your girlfriend’s mind are making you crazy. You can spend the evening with her when you aren’t in the mood for testosterone-fuelled competition. She will be there for you when you need someone to talk to. Unfortunately, having a woman as a friend can also cause plenty of discord-especially in your relationship with your girlfriend. How can you maintain a friendship with someone of the opposite sex while preserving the harmony in your romantic relationship?
Defensible Female Friend
There are some girls that you can have as friends without your girlfriend being able to justifiable complain about it. She might grumble about it, but she’ll have no ground to stand on. These women include those you were friends with before you got together with your girlfriend and those who are clearly in happy, stable relationships of their own. She also shouldn’t have a leg to stand on in she tries to bitch about a female friend that you are obviously not attract to physically.
Female Friends Those Are Tougher to Defend
On the other hand, there are some women you might want to have in your life that are understandable unacceptable to your girlfriend. If you have fooled around with your female friend in the past, it’s not difficult to see how that might bother your girlfriend. Ditto for the girl who has a questionable reputation. If your female friend has been known to go for attached guys, your girlfriend has a right to be suspicious. Finally, is your girlfriend genuinely dislike your female friend for reason other than the facts that she’s a girl and she’s friend with you, you might want to take her opinion into account.
What You Can Do With Your Female Friend
There are some activities you can do with your female friend that shouldn’t be threatening to your girlfriend. Your girlfriend will feel much more comfortable with you going out for drinks if you do it guy-style. Don’t go to a quiet wine bar where the atmosphere is romantic; instead, take your female friend to a loud pub and pound back some beers like she’s just one of the guys. As far as conversation topics go, taking about your mutual past with your female friend is allowed, but try not to do it too much in front of your girlfriend or she’ll start to feel left out. Take part in hobbies or interests that your and your female friend has in common and that your girlfriend isn’t into. It’s always a good idea to keep your time spent with your female friend in a group situation or at least in a public place.
What You Can’t Do With Your Female Friends
In order to keep your relationship with your girlfriend steady and trouble-free, there are some activities that you should never do with your female friend. No 1: absolutely no sleepovers. It doesn’t matter if you’re drunk, if there’s a storm outside of if she needs company after a breakup. There is no reason you should spend the night at your female friend’s house even if you sleep on the couch. Also, avoid date like, full-evening plans (like dinner and a movie) in order to keep the atmosphere platonic. You should never choose to spend special occasions like holidays with your female friend instead of your girlfriend. Acting as a fill in date for your friend for a wedding or office party is also a no-no. Basically, there shouldn’t be any aspect to your interactions that could force people to assume you’re dating.
Venus and Mars as Friends
Men and women have many differences, but that shouldn’t stop us from being friends. A friendship between a man and a woman can be just as platonic as the ones you share with your male friends, but it does require a little extra attention to make sure everyone involved is comfortable with the situation. You don’t have to give up your girl friend just because you have a girlfriend. Just be honest and aware of their feelings and you should be able to have the best of both worlds.
The Biggest Secret of Attracting Hard to Get Women
Joshua Pellicer is a one of the most socially savvy and engaging men I know, he could make friends with a hungry female T-rex suffering from PMS. I’ve never seen anyone with a capacity to make friends faster in any social situation. But what makes Joshua such a great coach is his innate ability to read subtle social cues in the interactions between men and women and then to bring his deep sense of caring into the equation. Quite simply, Joshua loves to teach because he genuinely wants his students to succeed. Paired with his deep knowledge of the subject matter, it is a potent combination.
Woman’s Wisdom: Can a Broken Heart Kill You?
The holiday season is over, many of us may still be paying off bills, we are in the dead of winter and, love it or hate it, we are in the build-up to Valentine’s Day – complete with an abundance of pink hearts and frilly chocolate boxes. It is either the best or the worst of days depending on your point of view.
For those who are not fans of this Hallmark holiday, Valentine’s Day can be a time to feel a little bit blue and/or fed up with all the fuss. But for others it can be a major source of stress. It can add to the heartache of a broken relationship, or bring on a new wave of grief and loss. It can be lonely and stressful and make you feel that you need to stay on the sidelines of life because you don’t have anyone special by your side.
My question is: has anyone died from a broken heart?
I decided to investigate whether being ‘broken or lonely hearted’ could really lead to physical risk. I was shocked by what we discovered…
‘Takotsubo Syndrome’ was only first identified in Japan in 1991 and has since been commonly renamed in the western culture as “stress cardiomyopathy” or “Broken Heart Syndrome”.
Broken Heart Syndrome, it turns out, is real, it’s rough, and it can be dangerous – and it seems to hit women more often than men (90% of diagnosed cases**). Even worse, when women complain of their ‘broken’ heart they are often ignored! Another ailment that is “all in our head”?
Here’s some facts: in layman’s terms, Broken Heart Syndrome (BHS) is a cardiac incident brought about by the body releasing a sudden surge of chemicals, including adrenaline, which can shock the heart muscles and cause them to stop working properly. Specifically it is the spasming of the left ventricle of the heart, causing loss of blood flow – just like a heart attack. It even presents with the same symptoms as a heart attack: chest pain, shortness of breath, arm pain, nausea, and sweating. But instead of an arterial blockage (as in a heart attack), when doctors test, they find the left ventricle misshapen to the point where it is constricting blood flow.
What can cause Broken Heart Syndrome?
Extremely stressful incidents like the loss of a loved one, or a pet; sudden bad news; heated arguments with family; relationship breakups, divorce, or an accumulation of stresses leading to a final, triggering event.
Physical stress such as an asthma attack or even low blood sugar.
Who is most at risk?
Although anybody can experience Broken Heart Syndrome, because it is largely stress-related. The majority of sufferers (approximately 90%) are women of menopausal age! Researchers have concluded this may be because the level of oestrogen (which helps women cope with huge stresses), is significantly lowered in menopause. A lessened ability to cope with stress plus the inevitable stresses of mid-life (divorce, parental death, etc) create the perfect circumstances for Broken Heart Syndrome.
Can it be fatal?
Yes – it can be. While evidently some patients can be absolutely fine within days of an incident, there is a possibility that the heart muscle can be so constricted that it can no longer pump blood to the body fast enough, causing heart failure. So theoretically and physiologically, yes, we can die of a broken heart. However, most people do survive broken heart syndrome, just like they survive a broken heart.
- Talk to your doctor if you have been undergoing emotional stress, trauma, or grief – in fact, talk to anyone!
- Express your emotions. Don’t hold it all in. This allows your body to respond better to stress.
- Only you can set the time limit on your grief: whether its for the death of a loved one, or the death of a relationship, do not let others set the agenda or timeframe for your grieving. Be proactive to figure out ways or mechanisms to alleviate your pain or grief.
- See your doctor regularly and make sure you report any new aches and pains so they are up-to-date on your medical history.
- Keep yourself fit, eat well, and get into a regular routine of sleep.
- If you do not feel up for it, then limit your exposure to the holidays and social gatherings that upset you. Be true to yourself and what you feel you can handle.
- Make sure you do something that is good for your body and soul – go for walks, take bubble baths, listen to music. Participating in something enjoyable will lessen the stress on your body. As you feel broken hearted, remind yourself of what you are grateful for.
- If you feel broken hearted, still try to hang out with friends that empathize with what you are going through and who gently encourage you to live life to your fullest definition. The cliche is true that in many cases “time heals” a broken heart.
Although Broken Heart Syndrome is a very real medical condition, in many ways our ability to avoid it is up to us. Large-scale stress happens in life. As we age, we realize that it is unavoidable. In the end, our ability to cope with it and not have it trigger or contribute to major health problems, relies on our ability to handle the smaller daily stresses that we encounter all the time. In essence, the more time we spend loving in our daily lives, the less chance we will ever die of a broken heart.
Fiona is the Editor-in-Chief of “Women Who Run It: Your Life – Your Love – Your Terms” where she provides premium dating and relationship tips, advice, secrets and resources.
My Ex Boyfriend Sent Me a Text – Here’s Your Next Move!
You just about jumped for joy, didn’t you? Why wouldn’t you considering what just happened? Your ex boyfriend, the one you’re still madly in love with, just sent you a text message. Maybe it was nothing more than a quick hello or perhaps he wants to know how you are. Regardless, you see it as the first step towards the inevitable reunion between you two. Before you respond by telling him how happy you are to hear from him and how much you miss him, stop and take a deep breath. As much as you want to believe this random text message from your ex means he can’t live without you, that may not be the case at all. His text message may be nothing more than a calculated method of seeing where you are emotionally at the moment. You have to take a deep breath and think through your response so you don’t end up with a broken heart all over again.
Wait at Least an Hour to Respond
As much as you want to respond to your ex boyfriend’s unexpected text message immediately, don’t. It’s very likely that he’s going to gauge the level of your interest in him by how quickly you answer his text message. In other words, if you send a reply right away, you’re going to seem desperate and pathetic. This is one occasion when you’d do well to wait to text him back. It’s preferable that you wait at least an hour but depending on the time of day it may even be worthwhile for you to wait several hours.
For instance, if your ex boyfriend is feeling lonely late at night and sends you a text saying he misses you at midnight, don’t respond until the morning. The same is true if he texts you in the middle of the day when you should be focused on work or class. Don’t jump back into the habit of pushing everything aside to answer his message. Take a breath, give it some time and then pick up your phone to respond.
Be Cautious in Your Response
Obviously, you’d like nothing more than to tell your ex boyfriend that you miss him too and want a happy future with him. The problem is that if you respond to his text message in any manner that can be contrived as overzealous, you may actually scare him off. This seems ludicrous given the fact that he was the one who initiated contact with you again but he may just be testing the waters to see how interested in him you still are.
When you do respond treat him as you would any friend that you haven’t spoken to in some time. That means that you need to keep your emotional guard up and keep the tone of your text message exchange light and carefree.
Don’t start asking him if he’s ready to get back together or if you can see him. You don’t want him to feel as though he opened up a floodgate of difficult emotions when he sent that initial text message to you. Instead, keep the banter light and generic and try to be the one who ends the text conversation first.
Don’t Correspond Endlessly with Him via Text Message
If your ex boyfriend is feeling particularly lonely right now, he may see you as a light in the darkness. To him you may simply be someone to fill in the empty void he’s experiencing until another woman presents herself to him. You must be mindful of not falling into this trap with your ex.
It’s very important that you don’t keep texting him as the only source of communication if you’re hoping for more from the relationship. After you two have exchanged text messages for several days ask him to meet you for a coffee or lunch. An invitation like this isn’t threatening and it’s suggestive of a meeting between friends.
If he says he’s too busy or has some other excuse, without offering you an alternate date to meeting, slow down the text messages. He’s not looking for anything more than someone to help fill in his time and you don’t want to become just that to someone you truly love and adore.
Choose Your Friends Wisely – Overcoming Peer Pressure
Choose your friends wisely! You remember your parents, guidance counselors and teachers repeating this time after time, right? But, it wasn’t until I reached adult-hood, that I truly understood why. The other day I found myself sounding like my parents and saying the same thing to my teenager daughter. When she asked why, I explained that the peer group you choose can influence more than just one decision. It can effect your life-course- in a good way or in a bad way. If you choose a peer group that has a lower expectation for themselves or their life, it can bring you down. If you choose a peer group with an equal or higher expectation, it can raise you up by challenging you to become more. She asked how? That’s when we talked about ‘peer pressure’. After grumbling how “hard life is as a teenager”, she asked if ‘peer pressure’ still existed for adults. My reply? Absolutely!
Adult Peer Pressure Basics
Have you ever felt pressure to attain, obtain or earn something based on ‘pressure’ of your peers? Maybe it was a friend that got a raise and traded in their practical car for a luxury sedan. Maybe it was a friend losing weight and getting into killer shape. Maybe it was a co-worker getting a promotion ahead of you.
Here are 4 important questions to ask yourself:
1. How did you deal with the pressure?
Did you become lost in a fit of internal jealousy and pout. Did you run away from the ‘pressure’ and make excuses for why ‘you can’t have the same result’? Or did it inspire you to want more and better for yourself?
2. Is what they have, really what you want?
When you saw the new car, bigger house, weight loss or whatever the trigger was – did you feel the ‘pressure’ because you actually want that too. Or is it just ‘pressure’ that you should want that too?
Example: Sally see’s her best friend and neighbor buy a bigger house in a nicer neighborhood than they live in. Sally feels the ‘pressure’ to do the same every time she visits her friend. But, Sally loves her house and doesn’t really need a bigger house, yet feels like she ‘should’ be working toward a bigger house because her friends always want to know when she’s going to ‘upgrade’.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting bigger and better but is your desire to upgrade your home, car etc.; an attempt to keep up with the Jones’s or are your choices in upgrades because they are your dream?
The easiest way to relieve yourself from feeling the ‘pressure’ of things you don’t really want is to know what you do want in your life.
Example: Personally, Rob and I are very clear on how we want to live our life. We love traveling and will spend every last nickel of disposable income exploring the world. The decisions we make in everyday life help us reach our goals of non-stop travel. We used to own 3 homes between us. We decided that we weren’t interested in the stress or costs associated with lawn-care, pool maintenance and that non-recurring, yet always recurring home repair that always seems to pop up at the wrong time. So now, we rent. If something breaks or leaks, we just make a phone call and let someone else write the check. For us, this freed up our income to do what we love to do and reduced our stress of constant issues and maintenance. Whenever we feel the ‘home ownership’ pressure, we laugh, because usually that person isn’t traveling with us or anywhere for three weeks in the summer. We’re clear on what we want and how we want to live our life. Low-maintenance and stress free!
3. If you attained, obtained or earned (fill in the blank), would it be a positive or negative influence on your life?
This goes back to if it’s something you really want, or want just because you’re trying to keep up. Also- always remember, there is always someone with bigger, better, newer, nicer, more expensive things. This is a hamster wheel that will never end and eventually, you’ll get spun right off the wheel!
Example: If you need to feel ‘significant’ by upgrading your house or car, yet doing so is going to stress you financially, that would be a negative influence. In the end, you may have the immediate feeling of success, but when your friends aren’t around complimenting you and you’re staring at your bank balance of $0, how will that impact your life?
4. What are you going to do about it?
This is where you get off the pot! If you found yourself feeling ‘pressure’ to attain, obtain or earn something you really, honestly and truly want and it will be a positive influence or addition to your life, ask yourself, what steps are you taking daily, weekly and/or monthly to reach your goal?
New Rule: If you want something, and someone else has it, you don’t get to complain or rant about what they have, if you’re not willing to do the work to get it yourself.
Your Peer Group
Adult ‘peer pressure’ is real and can affect your life, decisions and happiness, just like it can for a teenager learning the ropes of life. Your peer group, even as an adult, is incredibly important. Do you surround yourself with people who will bring you up or bring you down? Do your closest friends share similar goals for health, family, finances and life in general?
For example, if you take the average weight of your 5 closest friends, chances are it’s pretty close to your weight. Same goes for income. So, if you have high goals for your life, make sure your peer group does as well!
Conclusion
In the end, it’s all about you. Be who you are, do what you love and don’t let others bring you down or make you feel less than because of your decisions or desires. In return, don’t do that to anyone else either. Hold your friends and yourself to a high standard.
You have the opportunity to create any life you want, any way you want it.
Excuses are over. It’s time to live!
Save Your Relationship Before it Will Be Too Late
One of the things that cause problem in relationship is when one partner spends a lot of time at work. The other partner will tend to feel ignored. So the partner that is caring for the need of the family at home makes his/her partner that go out to work to feel that he/she is being neglected.
This has become a kind of everyday scenario that plays out over and over again resulting in a strain being put on the relationship. Here are some steps that would help you out in saving your relationship. First and foremost, before a relationship can be saved, both partners involved have to want to save the relationship. Then after this, it will take a lot of patience and desire on the part of everyone concerned. If it happens that no partner is in agreement to resolve the conflict that is arising in the relationship, it may not work out. Why most couples are still staying together is because of the children.
If you really want to save your relationship and make it last, you and your partner must agree that it is worth saving. After this, the next step is to try to determine what the main factors that are affecting the relationship are. The problem of saving a relationship is the symptoms and not the difficulty in saving it. For instance, lack of intimacy is capable of leading a spouse to look else where. One has to look at the root of the problem which in this case is intimacy, not the affair.
If you want to save your relationship, then you need to deal with the real issue not the symptom. Failure to deal with the issue of intimacy will result in additional affairs or other issues such as pornography or infidelity. When you have discovered the issue causing the problem, you can start expressing your feelings and thoughts to your spouse.
You can consider touching each other when each of you are expressing your feelings. When you touch each other, it helps you to get that positive energy flowing. Once the factors causing a problem in the relationship have been identified, the next step is to establish a plan of action to resolve the issues and both of you should start acting on it. The best remedy for helping a relationship is communication; enough time should be set aside every night just to talk with each other. A key ingredient in any relationship is spending time alone with each other, possibly going out on a date.
When your relationship has been saved, it does not mean that everything is over. You have to continue to maintain it if you don’t want it to relapse back to where you were before, you need to continue going forward. You should know that along the line there will be a lot of trials and tribulations. You must learn to apologize when necessary and don’t let it to be too late.
Getting Over A Failed Relationship – How To Dump Your Emotional Baggage
Like most people, you are likely to experience several significant relationships in your life – relationships which you will enter with a sense of optimism and joy, – but what happens when things go painfully wrong?
Whether this happens after years of marriage and the birth of kids, or after just a few months of intense passion, how do you pick yourself up, heal your wounds and self-esteem and get yourself into a fit state to love again?
If you carry emotional baggage from your old relationship into a new one, you seriously risk complicating it and even dooming it to failure too, so here are three things you can do to help you release the pain and empower you to have more successful relationships in the future:
1. Take Responsibility
Are you still blaming your ex-partner totally for the failure of your relationship? Are you prepared to concede that, maybe, you too were partly responsible? Although you may feel so hurt that you want to pin all the blame on them, if you really want to find true love, you have to own-up to your share of the responsibility.
Were you too needy, too demanding or too willing to please? Were you too insensitive, too quick to rush to judgment or to act unreasonably?
No-one forced you into your last relationship, so why did you choose to enter a relationship with your ex? Did you deliberately ignore the warning signals? Were you so desperate for something which you thought your partner and a relationship would give you? You made the choice, so why did you get it so wrong?
Whatever happened, you were responsible for choosing it. This is not to blame you for what happened, but to get you to appreciate that you created it and to stop you wallowing in self-pity and victimhood. You created the doomed relationship and with some increased wisdom, next time, you can create a successful relationship.
2. Forgive Yourself And Then Forgive Your Ex!
There is a Chinese proverb which says “Before you set out on the road to revenge, dig two graves – one for your enemy and one for yourself”. In this context, you need to give up all the negative feelings you feel towards your ex, because clinging on to them will only hurt you and damage your prospects of finding someone better.
By accepting responsibility for your contribution to the failure of the relationship, you will have subtly acknowledged that you need to acquire more wisdom and that you did the best you could at the time. In view of this, be compassionate and forgive yourself.
Then forgive your ex! Be gracious and understand that if your partner hurt you, it was because they were unable to behave in a better way. They too will have been doing the best they could, given where they were in their own personal and spiritual development.
Your failed relationship was a case of ‘wrong person, wrong time’ – get over it and be grateful that you have been released to find a better and more suitable relationship.
3. Learn The Lesson
As your relationship was disintegrating, what was going through your head to cause you distress? Was it anger, fear, upset? What was the little voice in your head telling you? What did the break-up confirm for you? Whatever meaning you gave to this, this is the core baggage which you need to put down.
Maybe you concluded from the break-down that ‘All men are unreliable’, ‘All women are crazy’, ‘I’m unlovable’ or even ‘He/she was my soul-mate and so I can never love anyone else again’. If you carry this ‘meaning’ into your next relationship, you will be dooming it to failure before you even start.
Instead, convert this ‘meaning’ into a positive lesson. Using the above examples it would come out something like – if I repeat my behaviour, I will create the circumstances which will make me unable to trust men, which will make me unable to understand women, which will make me believe that I am unlovable or which will make me believe that there is no-one else out there for me.
Learn the lesson of how you created your failed relationship or you will be destined to repeat it in a different form, with a different person in a different relationship.
When you truly understand that relationships are experiences to teach you about responsibility, forgiveness and personal growth, your search for true love will become much easier.
George Pirintzi is a Coach, Speaker and Writer on dating. As a Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and NLP-trained Life Coach he combines Personal Development Techniques, NLP, Life Coaching, Positive Psychology and ancient wisdoms to empower people to overcome the obstacles hindering their search for love.
If You Want The Ex Boyfriend Who Dumped You To Chase You Again – Here’s How To Do It!
You didn’t realize how much in love you were with your ex boyfriend until you saw him walking away after the breakup. You want to run after him and beg him to come back, but if you do anything that makes him think you can’t live without him, you might not ever get your guy back. The best thing you can do is let him go and hide your shock and hurt feelings.
Hiding your feelings won’t be easy to do because the breakup probably caught you by surprise. However, if you had not been so blinded by your love for him, you would have seen many clues that your boyfriend was not happy. He might have started showing up late for dates or canceled the date entirely. He hardly ever sent you a text or email anymore and you can’t remember the last time he called you.
All of these things should have waved a red flag and when the spats became more frequent it was only because he was trying to make you angry enough to dump him and save him from having to dump you. But, you continued to think he was contented in your relationship and kept ignoring all of the warning signs until he finally had to tell you that he was moving on.
Yet even when he told you he was moving on, you didn’t stop making more mistakes to make sure that he will never chase you again. You keep sending text just like nothing had happened and the fact that he continues to ignore you and not answer your text doesn’t slow you down a bit. If you ever expect your ex boyfriend to chase you again, you are going to have to stop chasing him.
Every text you send your ex boyfriend and every time you try calling him and give him the opportunity to reject you is building his ego. He is feeling great because he is sure of you and can go out dating other women as well. Which should tell you that you that in order to get him to chase you again, you have to make him less sure of you. It will take a lot of strength but you have to walk away and stop trying to get your ex boyfriend back.
Once he sees that you can live without him, your ex boyfriend will realize that he could have been wrong about you and that there might be a real chance of losing you. That’s when he will realize that he doesn’t want to live his life without you and that he misses you more than he ever thought he could ever miss anyone.
This could seem too simple, but it isn’t at all. If you want your ex boyfriend to chase you, you have to stop chasing him. As long as he is sure of you, he will keep rejecting you. Why? Because that’s just the way men are!
How To Make Long Distance Relationship Work
Many people are in long distance relationships. With jobs taking them to different places these days, it’s not surprising for some couples to carry on their relationship even when they’re far apart from each other.
It’s possible for this type of relationship to work and even to end up in marriage. As long as the couples involved are committed to make it work, setting their priorities right and are finding ways to keep the relationship strong despite the distance, it can survive the test of time.
Relationship experts actually consider being in a long distance relationship healthy for couples. For one thing, being separated allows each individual to pursue their own career and ambitions and develop a sense of independence. Secondly, the separation develops in every person a longing for each other.
Here are ways that can guide you in keeping your relationship intact for a long time. When you are able to follow these steps, you can be sure to make you and your partner satisfied.
Being honest to each other right from the start is essential. If you’re not yet married, this means setting your boundaries such as if you’re going to be exclusive to each other or you can go out on dates without any commitment. This will help you avoid misunderstandings and ensure that you’re on the same page.
While you’re discussing this, also make clear what your end goal is. You can agree on how long the separation will last to allow you to plan your lives together. If it’s possible to visit your partner in his new place or your partner going home to you on certain occasions, be sure to schedule this as well.
Making time for each other is another important step to take. No matter how busy you are, always take the time to call, send a text message or chat with your partner. Communication should not be a major issue today what with the existence of mobile and smart phones as well as the internet. If you can, set a time depending on your location to do a video chat so you can see each other. It gives one a different feeling when you are able to see each other face to face despite the distance.
Keeping yourself busy with work will allow you to pursue what you love to do best. This will also help you get rid of loneliness that may strike you every now and then. It’ll be surely hard at first to focus on what you’re doing when you know you won’t be seeing your partner for some time. It’s natural to feel this way when you were both used to spending your weekends together.
But again, you have to stay strong while you’re in this situation and getting yourself pre-occupied is one of the best ways to take your mind off your partner.
Remember that for any long distance relationship to work, it’s important for couples to establish a strong foundation. This will help them cope while the other is away and avoid expectations of their partners.
For information on Marriage and relationships, visit http://talkaboutmarriage.com, a supportive community for marriage and relationship advice.
